As the first golden rays of the sun play over the wavelets, our ship La Grande Vache skips over the waves to our milking grounds. Skippered by our intrepid Captain Guil, the La Grande Vache is in place to milk by 6 a.m. “It’s better to go early,” says Captain Guil. “There’s less chance of being seen… By other ships… Loud tourist boats. Spooks ’em. Right. That’s it.” Guil adds “I love watching people try Manacheese™ for the first time. It never gets old.”
Once at the milking grounds, our milkmaid Mary ventures forth into the depths to gather the milk. Wearing a wetsuit and diving gear, along with thick rubber gloves “to get a better grip,” Mary soon has her pails full of what we are sure is nutritious manatee milk. Mary’s past experience as a greased pig wrestler in her native Estonia has well-prepared her for the daily rigors of milking a manatee. And the benefits of working for Manacheese™? “If I am ever very, very hungry, like I was at home in Estonia, I can always have some Manacheese™. I work very hard here to make sure that never happens.”
Once La Grande Vache docks, the milk transferred to the labs and tested for quality by the Professor’s “assistant” Inga. The milk, found to be possibly very edible, is sent on to Professor Brown. Using his patented manatee milk curdling formula, the milk is soon made into finest manatee milk cheese products available. “It certainly LOOKS like cheese!” says the Professor. And that good enough for us!
Manacheese™ Who knows? Maybe it’s delicious!